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  • Jesse Pimpinella

Ways I piss off my mom!



This week, I was able to reflect about what it is about me that can drive my mother insane. I mean, I live 3 hours away and I am still a sure-fire hit when it comes to ticking her off! Here are some ways I do that!

1) Calling her when she is at work, or very busy!

"Hey Mom, I know you are at work and I have a quick question...like a can ketchup go bad. Like I just don't kn *HANG UP*

2) Begin phone conversations like

" Hey mom, I know I really screw up so please don't get mad, here's what happened..."

which then makes her have a heart attack because she is so worried. But then she finds out I am panicking over something mundane as screwing up the recipe for French Toast.

3) Emergency Credit Card

"I swear that the $23 FedEx purchase was worth it... yeah, I do get free printing at school, but this paper quality is top of the line and will also show the teacher how serious I am about his class. "

4) She asks me to text her when I get home so she knows I am safe

"Yes mom I will text you when I get home"

11pm: She is worried sick about me

12am: "3 missed calls from Mom"

1am: I wake up and text her"Hey mom, I got home at 1130pm and fell asleep before I could text ya...my bad"

2am: My mother justifiably plots my murder.

All in all, I love you mom. You do so much for me and I want to say thank you and I promise to do better!


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Created by Jesse Pimpinella