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  • Jesse Pimpinella

Single Friends Keep Life Exciting



Before I begin, please not that I am happily in love with a beautiful girl name Sarah. Now, I must admit, I have become boring. My single friends have all the cool stories.

"Hey Jess, so last weekend I nearly died because I forgot the safe word with this girl. How was your weekend?"

"Well, my girl and I created a designated fart corner for myself where I can go and not stink up the room. I even have a pillow to muffle the sound. Long story short, the pillow got mixed up with the others and we both had pink eye."

Single Friends are fun to have because...

1 ) I get to hear amazing stories from them. My one friend got Catfished so hard that when the guy took her to his house, she found out he was a NAZI! Yes, she did NAZI that coming! I had to pick her up. I literally rescued someone from a NAZI! So like having single friends adds excitement to my life.

2 ) I get to be a wing man. Being a wing man is all the flirting without the consequences of intimacy. Like I feel like I am gambling with the HOUSE's chips in a casino. I am basically a used car salesmen for my friend's dicks/vaginas.

So in closing, have single friends, they will keep you life exciting!


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Created by Jesse Pimpinella