Recently, I got to venture back to Youngstown to perform in the Political Roast of Carol Rimedio Righetti, the Mahoning County Commissioner of Ohio. On the stage were other politicians include the Mahoning County Democratic Chair Person.
Carol is so old, Donald Trump grabbed her by the Saber Tooth Tiger
The people here are top notch, they were not my 2nd choices. In fact they were my third. A Celebrity Roast? I thought we'd be roasting Ed O'Neil. I wanted Modern Family, but I got a Modern Failure.
Anyways, I pull up to the Lake Club in Poland, Ohio. I am wearing my best "James Bond" looking suit. The banquet hall was incredible! I felt like I walked into a scene from Good Fellas! I was waiting for some guy to come out- "That is Vinny the Wrench. Tony the Trumbone and Michael the Eeny Miney Moe. Michael once caught a Tiger by the toe. That nursery rhyme was based off him. True story."
The dinner was $125 a plate. Because I was a performer for the evening, I got to eat for free. Luckily there was a doctor at the event to pronounce the time of death of my diet. 6:25pm. Poor thing never had a chance.
While I ate I went over my jokes. There were jokes that I was told to cut. Mainly because they didn't fit the tone and atmosphere for the evening.
"Frank and Carol have been married so long. The secret for their marriage is Stockholms. Carol f#cks a guy name Stockholms and Frank watches. "
Great in rehearsal, but too rough for this audience. But, I later found out I so could have done it!
So I just got done with my roast set. I was told later that I killed. I felt great, but as a comic, I will always find something that I could have done better. It's a curse. Anyways, these politicians, whom we wrote for, did excellent. They even threw in some very hilarious lines of their own like,
Betras hates when his wife snores. Especially during sex.
I nearly fell of the stage. These politicians threw "F#ck" around like baseballs at a Father-Son catch event. It may been the most used verb/noun/adjective/preposition etcs, of the night!
I had an absolute blast doing this and can not wait to do something like this in the future.