Hot Mess w/ Jess: April Fool's Day
So I woke up this morning and Fate said "Jesse, you're gonna have a great day!...APRIL FOOLS!
As I was driving, I spilled my hot coffee. Luckily, I was able to catch it all in my lap. My left testicle looks like Deadpool unmasked.
I arrived at my destination and get out of my car. My pants are drenched from coffee. Then Fate played its final card because a child near by pointed and yelled "EW, he peed his pants." And everyone, as synchronized as ballet dancers, turned their heads to look at me!