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The Roast Of Santa Claus and other insults!

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Besides Stand-up, road shows and theater shows, I will sometimes participate in fun comedy roast such as THE ROAST OF SANTA CLAUS, which I did recently ! Many character were on the show, and I was Harry of the Wet Bandits from Home Alone. Here are some roasts

*WARNING! I am playing a character that is mean and it is a roast! What comes next is mean. So yeah! There's the warning. Carrying on! Much like how Bob Marley didn't actually shoot the sheriff, don't take this serious!

Elf Pimpinella

To Buddy the Elf

-Your movie had Santa, flying reindeer and, yet, the most unbelievable part of the movie was you f*cking Zooey Deschanel!

Rudolph  Pimpinella

To Rudolph

-I heard other reindeer laughed and called you names. They said you should never fly. The only time you should ever be off the ground is dangling from a noose

The Grinch

To The Grinch

If you pay attention to the film, The Grinch was found outside of a key party. A nice film sexual innuendo. Your adopted mother was Missy Screw Who!

"While the Grinch was surviving his situation

Missy Screw Who was getting double penetration.

Another guy said "could I eat you out?"

She replied "yes" with a shout

But you may not eat me in a house, you may not eat me with a mouse, you will not eat me in a box, you may not eat me with a fox, you may not eat me here,

but there Sam I Am! "

Frosty Pimpinella

To Frosty

- Your Christmas Special sucked. I've seen better comedic timing from Epstein's neck and a noose.

To Santa

- Writing jokes for this was harder than Santa taking photos at the mall

-You're famous for making a list of Gentile kids, checking it twice, and visiting them. Congrats, you are the opposite of Hitler.

-"Grandma Got Ran over by a Reindeer" and "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus." Two songs about two women in my life you've plowed!

Thank you so much for reading!

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