STAND-UP & BLOG: Super Bowl-Sh*t!

For me, I find myself pretending to know about Football to fit in at parties. I feel like a virgin talking about how great sex is. I get lost in foreplay...or four plays because there are 4 downs. Er...Tom Brady cheats I think. I don't know.

Yes, it's National Commercial Day with 5-7 minutes of Football play time in between! But, I like to think of it like a short film festival where Budweiser and Doritos are the Martin Scorseses and Steven Spielbergs of commercials!

Here are a few things I do at any Superbowl Party

1) Commercial Breaks are during football play time.

2) "Shut the F#ck up! I think Lady Gaga is in this commercial"

3) "When's the exclusive Marvel Commercial?

Honestly, for the amount of money that Disney and Theaters charge to see Marvel films and the frequency of movies they put out, they will have to start accepting food-stamps! I will be begging on the streets next to a guy that lost his job, house and family to meth if theater tickets keep going up!

But at the end of the day, today is fun! Sports fans get to watch a great game, non-sports fans get commercials and a half-time show. But what is best is when people lose their super bowl bets and the sore-losers rise!