I (use to) Live With My Mom

Summer 2015, my life was relocated to Columbus,Ohio because I told myself it was time to cut the umbilical cord*

*BULLSHIT: Jesse was accepted

into a college in Columbus,

and had crippling anxiety about

living on his own. "I don't know how to do Laundry"

This was a big step into adulthood. I felt like I got to the front of a Starbucks line and being caught off guard about what I wanted to order, even though I had time in line to decide.

Before I moved out, I did not have to worry about bills, how much TV/cable costs, the lights- THE LIGHT! For 22 years, my mom developed the catch phrases,

"WHY ARE ALL THESE DAMN LIGHT ON?!"

Whenever she saw a light on. She would freak out. Hallway lights, closet lights etc. She would open the fridge, "why is this damn light on (unscrew fridge light). Y'all can use your cell phone lights to find shit!"

I never understood my mom's obsession with electricity until I got my first electric bill. My apartment is currently filled with candles. I look like I live in a monastery. Worships are every Saturday evening at 6 p.m.

B.Y.O.M= Bring Your Own Mantra

Now, I grew up in a loud Italian household. There was no such thing as a peaceful moment. Noise, yelling and heavy foot steps were considered our white noise. It wasn't consider loud or disruptive because it was our norm. If SILENCE fell upon the Pimpinella house, that silence would be consider a loud and disturbing noise. When things go suddenly silent, you sort of jump like you are in an action movie and someone has uttered the line "It's quiet...too quiet.

THEN THAT'S WHEN THE NINJAS ATTACK!

I miss the loud family noises. The quietness is creepy. I can be sitting in my apartment. I will hear random sounds like a fork hitting a glass plate. The sound would be coming from my living room. I would lay on my bed (BEGGING JESUS TO TAKE THE WHEEL) and I'd begin to think "Is there someone eating in my living room. But wait, I am alone. That means a GHOST is eating my food...from my fridge.

"I HOPE Y'ALL GHOSTS USED YOUR CELL PHONE LIGHTS TO FIND SHIT!"